I was asked what type of relationship I'm looking for. My instant response was "Someone who inspires, motivates and supports life decisions with me." It sounds kinda cheese, well really cheesy but somewhat true. It so much more than that.
That saddest relationships I see around me are ones that people loose sight of who they are. Watching people loose sight of their hopes, dreams and sense of self crushes my inner soul. They get so lost in being who they think the other person wants them to be. Seeing strong women become weak and letting someone walk all over them.
When you meet someone, you are you. They fall for you. Don't loose YOU. I think that's why so many relationships end. You become this other person. Not the person they fell for.
On the flip side, don't try to change someone. They are who they are and who the aren't. And you have to accept it all as it is. Just let someone be who they are.
So I guess with that said, my ideal relationship would be full of passion, support, and self expression. Maintaining who we are but inspiring each other to be more.
Mission: Find safe AND tasty recipes to feed my food allergy family!
Ok Steph, so I have to disagree a little here. I understand not wanting to change someone, but in a relationship you must be willing to make sacrifices to better the two of you as a whole.
ReplyDeleteTo better our selves in society we MUST change who we are. To get a better job you present yourself in a manner in which you would not in a club (you change), when becoming a parent you step up and set an example and (change) into a teacher and mentor, maybe bad examples but you get the point eh?
Yeah I see how a guy might love gambling, drugs, and going to strip clubs when single, but if he met the perfect girl and wanted to start a family, perhaps he may want to compromise a little? (but strip clubs and parties are still fun together hehe). It's not changing who you are, it's making a commitment to be a better person for the sake of your soul mate.
Now THATS corny I know, but I think it's unrealistic to expect a long term relationship without ever changing a single thing about yourself or him. If he had smelly feet, and you asked him to shower, and he said "hey that's not me, don't try to change me", you can see how compromise and 'change" as you put it would be VERY important. Instead of "I'm a guy with Smelly feet, leave me alone biatch" :-) Compromise is a key to a successful friendship and relationship. You must change positively in order to grow as a couple. without change you have no growth, which leads to boredom, and eventually a split. The key is changing together, having goals, changing yourselves to reach them! yay, total gay thread now...
If you met Mr Right tomorrow, would you change where you live, or if he told you that he loves when a girl rubbed his back, but you hated that, would you maybe consider changing your ways to make someone happy? (nene still doesn't rub my back btw) If not then good luck on finding Mr. Right, because the chances of meeting someone just like you, that is unwilling to change one bit, is a tough search indeed!
Good luck with that honey, and cool post, first time I checked em out :-)
Peace sista,
-Paul-
My pleasure to come across your blog and read it, keep posting.
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