The idea of you.

It happens all the time.  Boy meets girl.  It clicks.  Feels so right.  Girl starts planning their future.  Boy starts planning on how to get in her pants.

That's the big difference between men and women.  Although, I will say, I have met men who acted more like a female that I do.  Which at times isn't saying much since I'm like a guy....but with really big boobs.  Anyhow, getting back to my point...we as women make the mistake of making an imaginary future life with men the minute we meet them.  Making plans in our head of how things are going to be.   Then being hurt when the guy doesn't do what we made up in our heads.  How twisted is that???

It's because you fell in love with the idea of him.  You don't know him or what he's all about.  So the enamored feeling you have for him isn't real.   It's like when you're a kid and read about prince charming...you love the idea of a man on a horse coming to save you.  But this is reality.  It doesn't work that way.

People in general need to stop forcing things in life.  Let things happen organically.  Don't project your past onto new people in your life.  Be secure with who you are.  Get to know people...I mean really get to know them.  Let them show who they really are.  Then fall in love with the true them...not the person you think they are.

From Seat Filler to Leading Lady.

Have you ever felt like you were just filling a need in someone’s life until they found the leading star in this movie we call love? I think we are all guilty of casting someone to fill the seat until the perfect person comes along.

The person is usually a pretty amazing person but there’s something just missing. They don’t have that j'nai se qua about them. But rather than being alone, we hang out with this person who is not your ideal.

We pick people out of loneliness, convenience, lust and boredom. Believe me, I’ve picked people for these reasons and know I’ve been selected for the same. It’s almost an unspoken agreement. We both know what our purpose is and we deal with it. But sometimes its one sided.

How do you know if you were their seat filler? Well, have you ever been in what you thought was a lasting relationship and then all of the sudden your significant other breaks up with you and BAM they’re engaged to someone within 6 months? Yeah, guess what? You were their seat filler. Don’t feel bad…it’s happened to us all.

But one day, that BAM moment will happen for you. And it too will be magical, I hope. 

Insecurity is not attractive.

Insecurity is one of the biggest turn offs. Always looking for reassurance and confirmation of someone’s feelings is the quickest way to turn someone off. Don’t ask me over and over again if I miss you. Guess what, I did, but now that you’ve asked me everyday…I no longer miss you. I’m actually kind of sick of you now. Go ahead; keep asking when you’re going to see me again. My answer will turn from soon to never in a heartbeat.
Why question every word out of my mouth? Insecurity usually comes from past experiences. Deal with those issues and move on. But don’t project your issues onto someone else. There is nothing attractive about a grown man saying “You’ll probably never call me again.” Really??? We just had a good time. Now I probably won’t.
I never understood this when I was younger. My ex used to tell me that if you keep accusing someone of doing something, eventually they’ll do it. Accusing him of cheating might make him cheat. Because guess what, he’s already getting accused of it…might as well be doing it. You think he is and you’re staying with him. So what would really change if he was cheating???
When I was younger, I had this self destructing behavior. A self fulfilling prophecy. It’s a sad way to live. Always thinking of doom and gloom. It’s like the Secret, if you believe it to be it true, it will be true. Now it’s your choice to think positive or negative. I choose positive. And everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to; sometimes the road is just a little bumpy to your final destination.