Working Mommy

Every single day I'm faced with Mommy Guilt.  Guilt that I'm not the one spending my days with Sophia, teaching her all the things she's learning.  Guilt that I'm not the one kissing her boo-boo's when she falls.  Guilt that I'm not the one spending the majority of her waking hours with.  Guilt that the weekends are busy with errands and stuff I have to get done in order to work during the week.

Working full-time and being a Mommy has to be the worst gig in the world.  You miss all the moments during the week and then you miss them on the weekends because your rushing to get everything done.

As were about to embark on a new challenge, Earl's new job, I'm beyond stressed.  I have relied on him big time in the evenings.  He's been here to help keep Sophia entertained while I prepare dinner and then he would handle dishes while I did bath and bedtime.  His new job will have him home later and I'm at a loss.  It also got me thinking.

It got me thinking about the role of a father and how it's evolved.  If you've moved away from your families, its just the two of you raising your family.  The father has to become more of a parent than someone who has family close by to help give support.  And that becomes a challenge if the father has always pictured himself as the guy who works all day, says good night and is in the stands cheering on his children.  He's never pictured himself being the guy who changes diapers, gets up in the middle of night to rock a crying baby and staying home when the kid is sick.  But when its literally just the two of you.........he has to step up.  And if you're a working Mom, he really has to step up.

Right now I struggle with outside support.  I don't have a Mommy community and that's rough.  There are fabulous Mommy groups........FOR MOM'S THAT DON'T WORK.  But honestly, working and making a Mommy group commitment on the weekends, forget about it.  I barely have any time for me after grocery shopping, errands, cleaning, swim lessons and trying to squeeze in a fun activity for Sophia.

But I guess I never pictured this.....a working Mom.  Guess I should just accept it and figure I won't get the dishes done after dinner......EVER. HA.