Hangin' Tough

Serendipity has been on TV a lot lately and I reminded how much I love this movie.  I own the DVD, I think I'll put it in tonight to help me fall asleep.  Maybe then I'll have sweet dreams.  The movie reminds me how much of a hopeless romantic I am.  Yes, I know, I don't act like it....but I'm a softy under all this tough exterior.  The ending scene when Jon is laying on the skating rink ground with snowflakes falling on his face with Sara's jacket under his head....thru the snow comes the matching black glove...makes me cry every time.  He picks up the pair of gloves that had been separate for so many years and locks eyes with Sara.  Makes me yearn for someone that wants nothing more than to be with me that much.  The great lengths they went to, to find each other again.  They know deep down, they were it for each other from just a brief encounter years prior. 


I know I talk a lot of shit.  And act like I don't care. But I'll admit, its all a front.  I haven't allowed myself to open up and be 
vulnerable in a really long time.   I guess its my fear of being hurt.  But getting hurt is one of the risks in finding love.  So eventually, I guess I have to open up and try.  Because being this closed off bad-ass isn't getting me anywhere.  


Recently I was asked if I was just having fun or if I wanted more.  I want more and plan on having fun on the way to love.  But it will take some grand gestures to get me to open up and allow more.  So when I write my number on the inside cover a book and send it off into the world, I hope you look in the cover of that book in every store until you find me.  And I'll keep flipping over $5 bills searching for you.