“I’m best known for throwing the Heisman.” That was my headline on MySpace after I was told that two times in the same week. I got the silliest responses. Some people thought I actually threw the Heisman trophy! Really, don’t you think you would have read about that somewhere and my picture would have been posted all over the world, “Dumb bitch grabbed the trophy and threw it?!” Honestly, the trophy weighs 25lbs; do you really think I could throw it? If so, thanks for that vote of confidence!
I was told this because I would just push people away and run. I avoided getting emotionally involved with anyone. The football was my heart and I would stiff arm anyone who dared to get close to me.
Have I changed, no not much. But now I have a new outlook on my behavior. I reacted this way because deep down I knew these men were not right for me. And the timing was off. What I was ready for and what they were ready for were not in sync.
Timing is EVERYTHING! A different time, a different place, sure things could have worked. But looking back, there isn’t anyone I have any what if’s about. Things are exactly the way they are supposed to be. Guys I have dated have moved on and I am happy for their relationships. I usually remain on good terms with all of them. And I am confident that throwing the Heisman was the best move.
Until I meet my match, I’ll keep stiff arming the toads.
Mission: Find safe AND tasty recipes to feed my food allergy family!
I know you are a great person. Really deep in my gut I'm thinking Stephanie Rogers has the makings of a great human being, but I'm sensing something in your relationship past has got you to throw that "Invisible Wall" up and run to the safe bosom of your fabricated "family" and friends and just keep telling yourself one day my soulmate will find me. I'm sorry but that's not how it works and as long as you keep throwing up that "Heisman" (which my cousin Desmond Howard made famous in '88) then no GOOD man will be able to get near you. And I know you're thinking well a real man would be able to penetrate my stiff arm! No not even that man, because being an independent woman of 32 means you're pretty set in your ways. But that doesn't mean you can't change, so I have hope that one day you'll say "Fuck the stiff arm" and let someone buy you a drink, yes a drink and put a smile on your face!
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