I won't be your rebound.

A year ago when I broke up with my "boyfriend", I met someone new the same day.   And instantly in my mind, I was in a new relationship.  I went from 0-60 in 2.4 seconds.  All my friends were urging me to take some time to myself but I argued that this "new relationship" felt so right. What an idiot I was.  I was giving him all the respect and courtesies that you need get over time, not right away.   And he was not even the right guy for me!  So far from it!  He was my rebound.

The biggest mistake people make is not taking enough time for themselves in between relationships.  Because what they end up doing is dragging the past relationship into the new one. Your bring your expectations into the next relationship.  And guess what?  The new person in your life doesn't owe you anything.  And you have no right to get mad at them.  

When someone told me this the first time, I didn't get it.  I was angry and thought they were just mean.  And yes, people should be courteous.  In no way shape or form am I saying that gives anyone the right to be a douchebag.  

So when you are just getting out of a relationship and hitting the dating scene, I have a few tips for you.  These will help you not scare away a potential.

When you just meet someone, don't send them a text saying you are thinking about them, missing them, etc the day after you meet them.  You don't know them to miss them.  And any thoughts you have of them, are not real thoughts!  They are thoughts you have made up in your mind about them.  Don't call to just "check in".  Have a reason for your call; setting up a date or confirming plans.  

And if you are newly single and someone makes an off the cuff remark about maybe hanging out this weekend take it as just that.  You may or may not hang out this weekend.  Don't keep your schedule open for them.  Unless someone says, this Saturday at 8pm lets go to dinner, then take it as is.  And don't get mad if you don't hear from them.   

I've watched myself and friends make these mistakes and cringe.  And I have had guys pull this on me.  And guess what, I RUN and run fast.  I don't want to be your rebound or hold your hand through your last break-up.