It's so sweet it hurts my teeth.

I'm feeling sappy, so I decide to make a list of things I miss about being in a relationship.
- Having a bad day and having someone to listen to your problems or just at least be there with a hug.
- The cuddling on the sofa after a long day.
- The eye contact moments that need no words.
- Little happy surprises that are worth more than gold.
- Knowing you always have a date to any event.
- Falling asleep in someone's arms that you can actually fall asleep in.
- Nights at home cooking dinner together.
- Nights out on the town dancing under the stars.
- Getting unexpected flowers.
- Our first Christmas together.
- Butterflies.
- Laughing at each others stupid jokes.
- Holding hands.
- Sneaking little kisses.
- Missing someone when they are gone.
- Talking on the phone for hours and not really knowing how you can talk so much saying so little.
- Feeling incomplete without your better half.
- Being able to order for each other.
- Doing errands for each other out of love.
Ok, I just threw up a little in my mouth.  It's so sweet it hurts my teeth.

Hangin' Tough

Serendipity has been on TV a lot lately and I reminded how much I love this movie.  I own the DVD, I think I'll put it in tonight to help me fall asleep.  Maybe then I'll have sweet dreams.  The movie reminds me how much of a hopeless romantic I am.  Yes, I know, I don't act like it....but I'm a softy under all this tough exterior.  The ending scene when Jon is laying on the skating rink ground with snowflakes falling on his face with Sara's jacket under his head....thru the snow comes the matching black glove...makes me cry every time.  He picks up the pair of gloves that had been separate for so many years and locks eyes with Sara.  Makes me yearn for someone that wants nothing more than to be with me that much.  The great lengths they went to, to find each other again.  They know deep down, they were it for each other from just a brief encounter years prior. 


I know I talk a lot of shit.  And act like I don't care. But I'll admit, its all a front.  I haven't allowed myself to open up and be 
vulnerable in a really long time.   I guess its my fear of being hurt.  But getting hurt is one of the risks in finding love.  So eventually, I guess I have to open up and try.  Because being this closed off bad-ass isn't getting me anywhere.  


Recently I was asked if I was just having fun or if I wanted more.  I want more and plan on having fun on the way to love.  But it will take some grand gestures to get me to open up and allow more.  So when I write my number on the inside cover a book and send it off into the world, I hope you look in the cover of that book in every store until you find me.  And I'll keep flipping over $5 bills searching for you.  

Don't be scurred.....

My blog is not meant to be intimidating, its meant for intimate-dating. So I've been hearing from multiple sources that people are scared, intimidated, worried about asking me out on date because of my blog. And those that have gone out with me and then find out about the blog get scared they'll be the subject of a blog.  


So here's the deal, it can go one of two ways...you can be the subject of a "douchebag" blog or the subject of a "he blew my mind" blog.  But most of the time, I don't write about current events. I give you a grace period.  LOL.  


So stop being scared.  

Show your cards

I have to say, the best part of dating is going out with your dates. Seeing their taste in food, how much thought they put into planning the night, how the interact with the people you come into contact with and how they treat you in public. These things are so important. They show you if you have anything to build a relationship on.

Will you have the same taste in food/music/life? If they show you something new, will they be a good teacher? Someone who makes your feel comfortable in a situation you're unfamiliar with?Trying something new and having a great experience can lead to a serious bond! And it shows that they put some thought into what they thought you would enjoy trying/experiencing with them. They payed attention to things you have mentioned, your likes and dislikes.

This is key information you need to know about someone you are interested in. Stuff you won't learn by them sitting on your sofa. Sitting on your sofa comes after they have taken you out. I'm not saying they need to spend mad money on you, but they at least have to attempt to take you out. It's the bonding process. Once you've bonded, then you can rent movies and order in.

Can I be your junkie?

So I was just talking with my friend, who unfortunately has almost the same name as my ex-douchebag. He was commenting on my dating ways. Guys seem to have a 6 week shelf life with me. Those of you I have dated are nodding in sync at this moment. If you made it further than that, congratulations! Now, pat yourself on the back as you have achieved something most do not.

I think it takes about 6 weeks to actually get to know someone. At that time you evaluate a few key things about if this relationship can continue. Are your values the same? Are you still having FUN? Do they have a quality that is more annoying than cute? Do they fit into your life? And vice versa? Are your friends/family supportive of this new mate? Do you have passion?

The most important thing I am looking for, that “I can’t get enough of you” feeling. We’ve all experienced that feeling. Sometimes, scratch that, most of the time, its one sided. Sometimes it happens at different times. One person experiences it, you are their drug. Then right as they start kicking their habit, the roles reverse. Then most part ways.

For the lucky few, it happens simultaneously. Birds chirping, hearts pumping, can’t get enough. That moment when you say “OMG, we’ve seen each other every day for 2 straight weeks! And I still want to see you tonight.” The first night apart seems like hell and you stay on the phone talking/texting each other until you fall asleep. It doesn’t seem like a chore hanging out or making plans. It just is.

You either have it or you don’t. It can’t be forced. You can’t make someone feel something they just don’t. It happens naturally and organically.

Stiff arming since 1977

“I’m best known for throwing the Heisman.” That was my headline on MySpace after I was told that two times in the same week. I got the silliest responses. Some people thought I actually threw the Heisman trophy! Really, don’t you think you would have read about that somewhere and my picture would have been posted all over the world, “Dumb bitch grabbed the trophy and threw it?!” Honestly, the trophy weighs 25lbs; do you really think I could throw it? If so, thanks for that vote of confidence!
I was told this because I would just push people away and run. I avoided getting emotionally involved with anyone. The football was my heart and I would stiff arm anyone who dared to get close to me.
Have I changed, no not much. But now I have a new outlook on my behavior. I reacted this way because deep down I knew these men were not right for me. And the timing was off. What I was ready for and what they were ready for were not in sync.
Timing is EVERYTHING! A different time, a different place, sure things could have worked. But looking back, there isn’t anyone I have any what if’s about. Things are exactly the way they are supposed to be. Guys I have dated have moved on and I am happy for their relationships. I usually remain on good terms with all of them. And I am confident that throwing the Heisman was the best move.
Until I meet my match, I’ll keep stiff arming the toads.