19 months, going on 13

This morning I got a jarring request from my 19 month old. It was one of those asks I thought I had years before hearing. We arrived at school this morning and one of Sophia's classmates, dare I say best-friend, came over to greet her.

"Fia, HI Fia, HI Fia", her best-friend yells as she comes over to hug Sophia. Sophia says her hellos and then notices the shiny new earrings on her friend.  As Sophia reaches for her ears, I tell her,"Gentle...." in fear she would pull on them.  I also comment on how pretty the earrings are and her friend replies, "Beautiful."  I agree that they are very beautiful.  The next thing that happened blew my mind.

Sophia looks at me holding her ears and says "Fia's ears" and then points to her friend and says "Fia, ears." Her teachers and I stood there looking at each other.  I asked Sophia "You want to get your ears pierced like your friend?" "Yes, Fia's ears!" "Well we have to go to a store to do that...." and before I could finish, Sophia was headed for the door.  "Sophia, we can't go now but we'll talk about it tonight with Daddy." She immediately begins to pout, walks over to the mini sofa, throws herself down on it and begins to cry.  I sit down next to her and tell her how we can talk about it tonight and maybe go this weekend and she gets up and goes to her friend.  Her friend looks at me and points to her ears and says "Out, out....Fia" like she wanted me to take them out of her ears and give them to Sophia.

I'm still in shock that my 19 month old basically asked me to go get her ears pierced!  And how adorable is it that her friend wanted to let her wear them?  These girls are too much!!

Working Mommy

Every single day I'm faced with Mommy Guilt.  Guilt that I'm not the one spending my days with Sophia, teaching her all the things she's learning.  Guilt that I'm not the one kissing her boo-boo's when she falls.  Guilt that I'm not the one spending the majority of her waking hours with.  Guilt that the weekends are busy with errands and stuff I have to get done in order to work during the week.

Working full-time and being a Mommy has to be the worst gig in the world.  You miss all the moments during the week and then you miss them on the weekends because your rushing to get everything done.

As were about to embark on a new challenge, Earl's new job, I'm beyond stressed.  I have relied on him big time in the evenings.  He's been here to help keep Sophia entertained while I prepare dinner and then he would handle dishes while I did bath and bedtime.  His new job will have him home later and I'm at a loss.  It also got me thinking.

It got me thinking about the role of a father and how it's evolved.  If you've moved away from your families, its just the two of you raising your family.  The father has to become more of a parent than someone who has family close by to help give support.  And that becomes a challenge if the father has always pictured himself as the guy who works all day, says good night and is in the stands cheering on his children.  He's never pictured himself being the guy who changes diapers, gets up in the middle of night to rock a crying baby and staying home when the kid is sick.  But when its literally just the two of you.........he has to step up.  And if you're a working Mom, he really has to step up.

Right now I struggle with outside support.  I don't have a Mommy community and that's rough.  There are fabulous Mommy groups........FOR MOM'S THAT DON'T WORK.  But honestly, working and making a Mommy group commitment on the weekends, forget about it.  I barely have any time for me after grocery shopping, errands, cleaning, swim lessons and trying to squeeze in a fun activity for Sophia.

But I guess I never pictured this.....a working Mom.  Guess I should just accept it and figure I won't get the dishes done after dinner......EVER. HA.

Family - An Open Letter

A few months ago I was stunned by a comment on my blog and it turned out to be from someone who considers me "family".  It made me start evaluating what I really thought family stood for and meant to me.  I mean really, if we're family, attacking me via a blog?  In all reality, I don't know you.  I may have met you a few times when I was a child and yes, we are related, but to call yourself my family........I don't feel that way.  I know who my family is.  And not all of them are blood related to me.  Blood doesn't make you family.  Being there makes you family.  As far as I'm concerned, my Father's side of the family gave me up for adoption.  They allowed me to be raised by another family who I consider to be my family now.  They are the people I spent the holiday's with.  They came to my graduation and birthday's.  They saw all my firsts.  They held me when I cried.  They cheered for me when I accomplished something huge.  They took me in when you wanted nothing to do with me. And they did it without any hesitation or motive.....they did it with love.  And I'm not just talking about my step-Dad's family.  I'm talking about all the friends I've met along the way that I now consider to be in my family.  They know exactly who they are without me having to say their names.  I love you all.

And you can go into your stories about how you want to get to know me now.  I'm sorry but I'm almost 35 years old now.  If you're having a hard time dealing with it now.....don't worry, I'm complete with it.  And you should find a way to get complete with it too.

My hopes for Sophia

As I was watching the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame inductions last night, something hit me.  Every successful person ALWAYS thanks their parents for never putting down their dreams.  For allowing them to work on their skills no matter how loud, annoying and crazy it must have seemed to them.

Look at the Beastie Boys.  3 white guys, rapping in the house?  But their parents let them practice and work on their skills.  Tony Hawk.  Kid on a skate board turned it into a multi-million dollar career.  What would have happened if their parents had told them what they were doing was a waste of time? How many other great talents have we been robbed of due to that misconception?

Growing up, I always remember asking my parents what should I be when I grow up.  Now, they would always say "You can be whatever you want to be." Which is a good answer because, yes, that is true.  But everyone needs a little guidance.  If you see your child excelling at something or taking a serious interest and love of something, nurture that.  I can think back to my childhood and my love of cooking started there.  At 11, I made macaroni and cheese from scratch.  And every weekend I was baking cookies.  I must have shown some serious interest in cooking because I have cookbooks that were given to me in my early teens.  Had I known that you could cook as a career, who knows.......

I hope that Sophia ends up doing something she LOVES as a career.  I hope that whatever she ends up doing, doesn't feel like work.  My job is to show her all the possibilities and life choices she can make. My job is to NEVER put down her dreams.  My job is to give her all the tools to be successful in this life.  My job is to support all her interests.  I've accepted this job fully and hope that she lives a life she truly loves.  <3

Crafty Mommy

I created my first Mommy craft project!  One of Sophia's teachers was celebrating her birthday this week and I wanted to give her a gift that was unique and special.  I had each family create a flower with their child's picture on it and put it together in this arrangement.  I also made a gift holder flower to put our cash gift in as well.  I'm pretty stoked at how well this turned out!  

Purchased supplies at Michael's

Pot with foliage already included - $3.59

Stem wire (18 pack so I'll have extra for the next one) - $1.49

Birthday stickers - $0.77

Card stock - $0.33/sheet

We got tears people!  And a bunch of oooo's and aaaahhh's from the other teachers.  She loved her "forever flowers" as she called them. Such an inexpensive, special way to give a gift! So happy I put this together!

Mother of the year

The intention of my blog has always been to bring humor to common life experiences.  We all go through things and instead of beating a dead horse (no animals were hurt in the making of this blog), I tried to show the light side of life. 

Now I haven't blogged in a while because I've been consumed and busy being the best Mommy EVER! At 10 months old, Sophia is standing and letting go, signing "Milk", "More" and "All Done", handing me objects when I ask for them and doing simple calculous problems.  My child is so advanced for her age.  :) 

So you can understand my frustration when I received an anonymous comment left on one of my blogs.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Did I do that? (insert Erkel voice)": 

Seriously, being a mother is hard but it's the best thing ever too. Unlike you all I ever wanted to be was someones mother. My time spent wasting my youth on partying and boys who I no longer remember their names ended with my teenage years,thankfully. You will hopefully continue to grow and be less cosumed with yourself. Someday you will be an adult who truely cares for people. Good Luck on your jouney!!! 

I've always wanted to be a Mom.  But instead of jumping into motherhood in my 20's, I enjoyed life and was self consumed like you're supposed to be.  I became a mother when I was ready to become one.  Not because I was searching for someone/something to love me.  I became a mother when I was at a place where I was ready to give my everything to another life.

And in no way did I waste my youth on partying with boys whose names I thankfully no longer remember.  I mean who can remember ALL those names???  I save my brain space for much more important things.  All I know is that when I'm 45, I'll still be content being a mother.  I won't start resenting my child and start acting like a 20 year old.  I had my fun.  My life has balance.  It actually makes me sad that this reader missed out on all that fun. 

Remember life is short, enjoy your journey.  Each journey is individual.  Don't pass judgement on others and always remember to LAUGH!