What a difference a year makes.

As I got up this morning I was thinking how I haven't blogged in a LONG time. So I just had to re-visit my blogs from the end of last year. Wow, what a difference a year makes. Looks like last year I deemed year of the douchebag....this year I deem it the year of change.

So much has happened this year that if you would have told me a year ago this is what my life would have looked like, I would have accused you of smoking crack.  No seriously, lay off the pipe.  You have to be smoking crack to think that at the end of 2010 I'd be living with the love of my life and expecting a baby. And now "No, I won't meet you for a drink" takes on a whole new meaning!

2011 is going to be even more life changing! I'll be sure to keep this going because so many things are happening......Wishing you all a happy holidays! xxoo

New Love +10

Ah, new love. Nothing in world is quite like it. Dinners, drinks, cuddling on the sofa, going to festivals and eating amazing food. You're so happy. Then about a month in you notice something.......your damn pants are feeling quite snug around the waist! 


Without fail, all new couples gain weight unless you're that crazy workout together couple. Barf. But seriously, new relationships are based on eating and being lazy together! 


So I've got a few tips for you new relationship'ers. 
1. NO eating unless you're together. 
2. Early AM workouts and another workout in the PM.
3. If you must eat, take only 3 bites of the food and throw that shit away!
4. When together, pick either food or alcohol. No need for those extra food calories, always pick alcohol.
5. Lots of sex to burn off those alcohol calories.
6. Knock food off the fork of your lover. It's out of love, saving them from fat and calories.
7. Drop hints about noticing the new weight by leaving gym membership cards taped to the fridge.
8. Make sure to always say "Are you sure you want to eat that?" as he/she shoves some food in their mouth.
9. Try fasting and cleanses. But never when together. It's pretty "messy". 
10. When someone hot and skinny walks by, be sure to point them out and ask "Why can't you look like that?"


Hee Hee :-)

Woman of my word

So here's a quick note on who I am.  I'm a woman of my word.  I won't bullshit you or myself.  If I say something, I mean it.  With that said, when I say "I'm busy", "Have plans already" or shit "I have to wash my hair", I mean that!  It's not some brush off.

Yes, I know a lot of girls play those games and use those lines to blow off guys.  I am very guilty of using those in the past.  But what I've come to find, its better to just be honest.  Yes, the blow might hurt a little more at first, but in the long run its so much easier.  You never wonder what happened, what if.  I'll be honest and tell you, "It doesn't feel right", "This isn't working", "I think you're crazy", etc.

Going into anything, I always tell people I am a woman of my word. When you question that or even better, get angry at me, total turn off.  I might do a lot of things that piss you off, but that shouldn't be one of them.  Questioning my integrity is a deal breaker.

Online Shopping

I've come to realize that online dating is like online shoe shopping. You browse the pages looking at different styles, shapes, purposes, heights, categories, colors, and occasions.  Shopping online is always a risk.  You're judging the merchandise by a picture and a self serving pitch.  They have pictures in multiple angles and you try to imagine how they fit into your life/wardrobe.  They look pretty and appealing on the computer screen and they sound amazing....do you hit the purchase button?

Add to cart.  Purchase.

You're eagerly awaiting your purchase.  Ding Dong.  They're here!!!

You can open the door and find something that looks nothing like the pictures online!  In the pictures they looks classy, sophisticated and trendy.  And in person they look bulky, outdated and awkward!  The description they had was easy going and comfortable but you find out they are stiff and uncomfortable.  All in all they just don't feel right!

Online shopping is always hard.  If you're like me, its more about how they look and feel in real life than in cyberworld.  And that goes for men and shoes.  I like to walk up, see them and get that butterfly feeling.  I get to see exactly what I'm committing to.  It's just a feeling you can't get online.

So men, if you see a hot girl in person, ask her out!  Stop "winking", "poking" and any other elementary school action!  Seriously, if you see a pair of shoes you want, go check them out in person, try them on. It's better than getting them in the mail and having to use the return sticker.

Here's to not changing for anyone.

I was asked what type of relationship I'm looking for.  My instant response was "Someone who inspires, motivates and supports life decisions with me." It sounds kinda cheese, well really cheesy but somewhat true. It so much more than that.

That saddest relationships I see around me are ones that people loose sight of who they are.  Watching people loose sight of their hopes, dreams and sense of self crushes my inner soul.  They get so lost in being who they think the other person wants them to be.  Seeing strong women become weak and letting someone walk all over them.

When you meet someone, you are you.  They fall for you.  Don't loose YOU. I think that's why so many relationships end.  You become this other person. Not the person they fell for.

On the flip side, don't try to change someone.  They are who they are and who the aren't.  And you have to accept it all as it is.  Just let someone be who they are.

So I guess with that said, my ideal relationship would be full of passion, support, and self expression.  Maintaining who we are but inspiring each other to be more.

Motorcycles and Golf Clubs.....

What do those 2 things have in common?  A bunch of hoes.

When the Tiger Woods "scandal" hit the press....I wasn't really shocked.  After my "celeb" dating experience, what he had going on was far from shocking.  It's like common practice in that world.  The multiple women in different cities thing is nothing new.  Women are attracted to money, power and success.  Men are attracted to hot, sexy and easy women.

I'll give my ex credit....he refuses to get married.  He loves that life.  And he can always recruit new ones when you're tired of putting up with his shit.  But come on....once you get married, keep your dick in your pants.  A one time affair could possibly be excused!  But when the numbers are as high as Tiger and Jesse's, really homies????

But I'm going to lay off the men on this one.  I blame the women!  You KNEW he was married but yet you proceeded to pursue a relationship with him.  And the minute his indiscretions hit the press you come forward to cash in.  Yes, cash in.  It shows exactly why you were fucking him.  You knew you'd never be his "one".  But you held out for money.  Its just gross.  Hiring Gloria Allred as your attorney and holding a press conference asking for an apology....really????  How about you apologize to his wife????  Who gives a shit about what he told you?  He's married, he's off limits.

Women, we need to start respecting EACH OTHER!  It's a fact, its hard to be monogamous.  But if we all take a stand as women to not lay down with another woman's man, we could make a shift in this world.  So instead of lusting after another woman's man, desire to find someone who encompasses what you like about that man.  Don't fall for the bullshit lines and respect yourself and other women.

Twitter = crush killer

Never before have we had this much access to our celebrity crushes. As little as 5 years ago, the closest we got to our crushes was in the magazines. We would imagine the lives they were living and picture ourselves in them.  Then came the celebrity blogs and sites where we could instantly keep up to date on our favorite stars.  They get arrested, we knew!  They cheated, we knew!  TMZ took it to a whole new level and brought us the gossip on TV!  Not only do we have pictures but now video catching them in their human moments.  The picture we painted of our idols suddenly became tarnished and jaded.  They make mistakes likes us and look awkward grocery shopping like us.

Then came Twitter.

Not only do we have the paparazzi catching people in these not so flattering situations, they are putting themselves on blast, to the world, by themselves!?!  Are you kidding me??

We have a direct connections to our biggest crushes now.  I don't need to watch Cribs to see into their houses, they post pictures on Twitter.  Filming a movie, shit, I'm on set.  Having a fight with your partner, not only do I get video of it from TMZ, but I can follow your craziness, sitting on their doorstep, waiting for them to get home and then screaming.  I get video and your crazy asses fighting with each other on Twitter??? You can even go as far as to webcam your crazy ass dancing in lingerie and falling while dancing on a chair and claim "You're sober".  Sure.  I think you're sane too.

My crushes have been crushed by Twitter.  These babbling idiots have killed it.  I fell in love with the rolls you've played.  Now that you've shown who you are, yeah, good luck!  My prince standing below my window with a boombox playing "In Your Eyes", is now standing there babbling about some shit he heard on Fox News Radio.  Sorry kid.  I might have to shoot you, run down and change the station.  Thanks for being a dream killer.  And good luck with your thoughts.

Inspired

I am so inspired right now!  It's amazing how sharing can help, transform and inspire others.  I had an amazing seminar class tonight and I get home to an email from a friend saying she is online looking at registration for the Forum as we speak!  I made a commitment to continue the conversation we started last night and before I could even make the call, she was already enrolled in the possibility!!  


It's amazing knowing I can make such an impact on the people that surround me.  You can't imagine the feeling I have right now.  Me, little 'ol me, being able to make a change in someone's life.  The only thing I'm doing is sharing how my life has been transformed.  Sharing the possibilities that I thought were NEVER and I repeat NEVER possible are now not only possible but are complete and amazing realities.


My dreams are only getting bigger and bigger.  And now I'm not scared of taking that chance.  Living my dream life.  


I know this is normally a blog about relationships....well this is about relationships.  Just now with different colored lenses that can see beyond the hand in front of my face.   

Hollywood Dictionary

New word of the day: Chandelier.  Ok I know, its not a new word, but I came up with a whole new meaning for it.  


A chandelier is usually beautiful.  Adds to the beauty of a room.  It sparkles and shines and is usually pretty expensive!  It's usually admired and displayed in extravagant homes.  Wiki definition: A chandelier is a branched decorative ceiling-mounted light fixture with two or more arms bearing lights. Chandeliers are often ornate, containing dozens of lamps and complex arrays of glass or crystal prisms to illuminate a room with refracted light. 

We all know what a trophy wife is.  Usually young and attractive, and is regarded as a status symbol for a husband. But what if this man doesn't marry her.  What do you call her?  A chandelier.  Try it on for size.  Yup it works.  You're welcome.  Make sure to use it in a sentence this week.


Bonus word of the day: Goldfish*. Referring to girls in their early 20's. They are easily distracted and have problems concentrating.  Easy to train. Like shiny, sparkly things.  They usually last for 4-6 months, then you have to flush them down the toilet and get a new one.  
*Special thanks to Maurice James for this one! 

Quicksand

I was asleep on a beach and suddenly woke up to see a submarine periscope coming thru the sand in front of my body.  Not sure who was laying near me but I shook them awake to see this.  We both looked in shock!  I suggested I grab my camera and take a picture with a bright flash into the scope to blind whoever was spying on us.  We settled on putting our hands over the scope.  It suddenly stopped scanning the area and withdrew itself into the sand.  As it went under, I put my hand over the hole and could feel the water bubbling up from it.  Then slowly the hole was gone as the water and sand mixture molded back to a flat surface under my hand.

Then I woke up.  It felt so real!  So here I am awake at 3am.  I'm waiting for the benadryl to start working....damn allergies to cats.  It feels like I have sand in my lungs.

Anyhow, I was laying here thinking how amazing it is when you actually take control of your life.  Declaring and creating possibilities for yourself.  I've always been scared to take a stand for myself and what I wanted.  Trying to stay under the radar where life is safe.  But damn, that's boring.  I would get damn right embarrassed when someone took notice.  That fear has kept me from relationships and a career of my dreams.  I've always been a great promoter for others but not myself.

But those days are over.  

I was talking to someone I used to date years ago and he said I never spoke up about what I wanted.  Never took a stand.  He's so right.  I thought I was by being "the cool chick who never spoke up or questions anything".  I was passive.  People do things in ways to "prove" how they feel instead of just SAYING it.  I have a ton of guy friends and they've dated girls that have cleaned their apts, cooked dinner, bought groceries, did the laundry, etc when they came over.  But never did they say what they wanted from the guys.  They thought by doing this stuff, the guy would see how great they were and say  you're the one.  To this day, I've never seen a situation like that work out.

I finally took a stand and declared what I want.  No more casual relationships.  I want something real, long lasting, committed.  That's the goal I'm working towards.  I'm not asking for it all now but I'm putting it out there.  I know the energy I've put it there has been casual.  Saying stupid shit like "I don't want anything serious", "Not sure if I ever want to get married", blah blah blah.  I call bullshit on myself. "Buwlsheit, Buwlsheit, Buwlsheit."  I said all that because I was scared of conflict and failure.  But great love, takes great risk.  And the risk is worth the love.     

Time to take a stand and say what you want.  What's the worst someone is going to say?  No.  That's it.  No.  Are we all so scared to hear the word No, that we just stopped asking?  Stopped going after our dreams because we're too scared to hear No?  Guess what hearing No means.....NOTHING!  It doesn't change who you are or what you believe in.  You keep moving on towards your dreams and bypass the people who don't believe in you and your dreams.  

So instead of continuing to let my life sink in the quicksand, I'm molding the sand in my hand and creating the possibilities for greatness in my life.  And you can continue to use your periscope to spy on me and I promise not to blind you with a flash......but I will be a bright shiny light.

Being unreasonable

So I'm transformed.  If you haven't attended Landmark, you probably don't understand what I mean.  No I haven't changed, I'm still me....but I probably won't react the same way you've known me to.

So the first thing I did was delete my online dating site.  Yes, its been down for 3 weeks now.  First thing I realized, I was being unauthentic!  Umm, that means I'm not being the true me.  I came to realize that I wasn't meeting quality people on the site but only hanging onto it for "something to do" and "for the attention".   Honestly, I had no intentions of meeting anyone else off the site.

The biggest realization....all this bitching I've done....I've created all these situations.  I choose to be that person that attracted those men.  It's what I was putting out into the universe.  A person who REALLY wants a relationship and a good person in their life, puts out a certain energy.  I've lacked that energy for years.  It all is for the positive....I've sowed my "wild oats", sorry Mom.  :)

Best part about Landmark, getting complete with people and creating possibilities.  Everything is now possible.  I love it!  Sorry if you caught the brunt end of the stick lately. I will tell you exactly what I want and expect from you.  But I am finally being authentic!

No apologizes.  But Hi, this is me.  Nice to meet you, finally!

Singles Awareness Day.

Singles Awareness Day aka Valentine's Day is upon us again.  You made it through the holidays alone but when this day hits, bam like a left hook to the jaw.  Honestly this day only matters to women so they can show off to their friends!  You want to prove to your friends how much your man loves you.  It's a straight competition!

If you work in an office the pressure is on.  Will your husband/boyfriend come through?  And best believe he better have gotten you a bigger bouquet of flowers than so and so!  Oh and the questions they ask with judging eyes....where is he taking you to dinner tonight?   

Even if you could care less about this Hallmark holiday, you end up caring that day.  Caring because of all the inquiries about what your man is doing for you.  Seeing the pictures posted all over Facebook.  Regardless of the tough exterior you put on, it still hurts.

For us single ladies, it's hard.  We couldn't go out to dinner even if we wanted to.  Prix-fixe over priced menus surrounded by couples giving each other goo-goo eyes.  The expectations thick in the air.  And everyone around you getting laid, well at least they hope.  

Well here's to girls competition day!  Good Luck Ladies, may the best woman WIN!

Well that was totally awkward....

We live in such digital times.  I know most of my communication is done on the computer.  Which makes in person moments sometimes even more awkward than they should be.  It puts you face to face with people you're not really sure if you know "in real life" or not!

So a few weekends ago I was at the Hollywood Farmers Market.  It was pretty packed and I was dodging people with push carts full of produce and Mom's pushing strollers through the maze of marketeers.  I look down at this stroller as I step to the side and "Hey I know that kid!"  As I look up thinking that it's someone I know pushing the stroller I come face to face with the Mom.  Well hello Gwen Stefani.  My face turned from the hey how are you doing, so great to see you heeeeerrrr......oh shit, I only know your kid from the paparazzi sites I cruise daily.  How insane is it that I felt I knew this child????  But I only know them from pictures I see.  That's pretty scary.

Since I joined a dating site (which honestly I think I'm just going to delete soon, if I wasn't getting such great material for my blog) I've been so self aware out in public.  I notice when someone does a double take and I wonder, "Oh shit, are they from that site?  Did I totally reject them (because 99% of them get rejected)?  They sort of look familiar!"  Talk about awkward moments.  I can't tell if I know someone in "real life" or "virtual life" anymore.  The lines have crossed.

Back in the days of MySpace (yes back in the day, 2003) when I was friends with anyone who was on there, I built "virtual friendships".  Some of which have become real life friends.  But that first meeting was awkward, using your screen name as your introduction.  You feel like you already know this person so well but you don't.  It's a crazy time we live in.

So next time you recognize me and I cross the street, don't take it personal....I'm just saving you and me from that awkward moment.  :)

Slow down I just wanna get to know you.

It seems like everyone is in such a rush to "fall in love". And it seems like you don't care who it’s with; you'll just make it work. Great love takes time and work. Forcing something that isn't there is a waste of energy.


Jumping to convo's of when we fall in love, what our kids will look like, etc will make me shut down instantly. Yes, I do want all that. But if I haven't met you, let alone talked on the phone, those are shut it down conversations. The only thing you know about me is what I wrote on my page.

In your defense, I'm sure a girl in your past has told you these are the things she wanted to hear from you. And now you are over compensating. But she probably said she wanted to hear these things from you after you were already in a relationship. Not at the first encounter.

Think about it men, if I came at you and said, "Oh my god, we'd make beautiful babies together! We should totally go to dinner, get married and just start making babies now!", you'd run for the hills. It comes off as desperate and needy.

What I’m looking for is a perfect fit and then we’ll have those conversations after some time. Stick to what I like to do for fun, etc. Sure go ahead and ask if I want the marriage and kids stuff….but don’t start planning our wedding….just yet.

Cleaning House

Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”  With that said, I've made some changes in my life.  What I was doing wasn't working.  I had to break the cycle of douchebags.  And instead of continuing to just complain about it....I did something about it.

First step, I went through my Facebook and deleted guys that shouldn't have any access to my life.  Why should they be able to keep tabs on what I'm doing with my life if they really didn't respect me as a person?  Select and delete.  

Next step, deleted numbers from my phone.  What I should have done is change all of them to "DO NOT ANSWER".  Guess I'll do that on my next round of deletes.  

Step Three, I've removed myself from the nightlife Hollywood scene.  Sure, there might be a really nice guy in a club....but he probably isn't the type of guy that is picking up on a girl in a nightclub.  So instead of going out, I'm going hiking on Saturday and Sunday mornings.  Because I would much rather meet someone there, at coffee or the Farmers Market!

By doing that, I've cleaned house.  Got rid of all the negativity and douchebags in one clean swoop.  I'm baggage free.  LOL.  And that opened me up to doing something I've said I'm totally against....online dating.  I'm checking it out.  I'm holding my judgement for a later date......